We went to the Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival in Woodburn, OR. Sarah had been having contractions since she woke, but it wasn't until 1:00 that she realized they weren't a fluke and she should probably start tracking them. They were coming every 4 minutes and lasting about 45 seconds. We had read that if this happens for 2 consecutive hours, you should really consider heading to the hospital. Sarah was dead set on holding off as long as possible, to the point of having to crawl through the hospital doors because they were so strong.
Here are pictures from the tulip farm, and the beautiful face of woman in early labor (just scroll to the bottom for the delivery story).
Way cooler than the tulips were all the "big trucks".
Checking out the girls.
Checking out another piece of machinery.
Cowboy up. We need to get this city boy out to places like this more often.
Sunday- April 5, Easter
We got home from the tulip farm mid afternoon, and Sarah drew the first of what would be about 3 baths over the next several hours. Sawyer went down around 7:30 per our normal routine, I got ready for bed, and Sarah either paced around the house, tried to sleep, or sat in a tub. Not being entirely sure what to do, I opted for sleep. I woke up around 10:30 (I didn't really wake up, because I never really fell asleep) to Sarah saying "let's go". She had done it. She had held off as long as she could and had finally reached the point of barely bearable pain. She had waited it out just as she had intended to. Up to this point, everything about our pregnancy was going according to our birth plan.
Here are some texts I sent to my mom and sister:
-10:47 PM "Heading to hospital"
-11:13 PM "Just got to our room. Not sure if permanent room or not. They're checking us in in this room, then checking her out to see what's going on"
-12:13 AM "C-section. Prepping now. Sarah's sad. Say prayers"
-12:22 AM "Same scenario. Less than a cm dilated. Baby's heart rate was dropping. About to start c-section now. Hoping to be let in this time...Easter baby" (Something went wrong during Sawyer's delivery and Sarah had to be put under. I wasn't allowed in.)
-12:58 AM
-1:02 AM
-1:09 AM
-1:23 AM "...Sarah's feeling loads better btw"
-1:48 AM "[update] They invited me into the OR to be part of the surgery. Then they asked me to leave because the spinal wasn't working (same as last time). I left, went to our room for 5 min. then they came in and said the spinal started working and I could come back."
-3:05 AM "Oh, I never said, but she was tiny and long. 5 lb 7 oz, 19 in. Still in recovery room for about another 10 min then off to our main room."
-3:38 AM (not a text, just a follow-up picture in my phone)
Why couldn't we deliver vaginally?
The hour between 11:13 and 12:13 was heart crushing. Sarah's plan for the last couple of years was to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) for child number 2. We hired a doula and preferentially chose midwifes over doctors to help increase our chances of successfully doing so. This idea was quickly thrown out of the window though. Hunter was experiencing what is referred to as "late decels", or "late declarations". This means that after Sarah would experience a contraction, Hunter's heart rate would drop from about 160 to about 130-115 bpm. It is this post-contraction heart rate drop that is problematic and a sign that the baby is experiencing stress. In a state of stress, receptors are prompted to constrict various non-vital peripheral blood vessels, in order to increase blood supply to more vital areas such as the internal organs. This causes a hypertensive (high blood pressure) state in the baby, and a slowed heart rate. Essentially, the late decel, instead of an early decel, is a sign that something isn't right in the womb, namely, the baby is not receiving sufficient oxygen supply.
The doctors were willing to give Sarah and Hunter a chance to do this naturally though so they gave her oxygen as well as an IV to help support the baby during the contractions. It didn't help. The following contractions gradually resulted in dropping heart rates down to about 90 bpm before they began, almost forcefully, using the word "c-section". One last option dealt with dilation. If Sarah was dilated, Hunter might have been able to handle the remaining contractions necessary for delivery. Upon inspection though, Sarah wasn't even 1 cm dilated. This meant that we had several hours worth of contractions leading to heavy labor, something they couldn't be certain that Hunter would be able to handle. (doula showed up around now). At this point, during one of the 90 bpm drops, several people rushed in - nurses, doctors, intern, midwife - and said that Sarah needed to have the c-section now, that they couldn't wait any longer if we wanted to do this in a controlled, non-emergency, environment; one in which I could be involved. Naturally, she's in tears at this point because of how many times that awful "c" word had been thrown around, despite all of our best efforts, despite waiting through contractions all day. For us, it's always been more about the baby. Whatever is the best guarantee of her safety, that's what we want. We decided the c-section really was our best option, and we had a birth plan B.. or maybe it was plan D, I don't know. Either way, we had a plan if it came down to this for what we would do; the plan included me being there, and it included having skin-to-skin the moment Hunter was taken out; we wanted to make it as close to natural birth as possible.
We headed to the OR and I waited outside while they prepped for surgery. This was identical to our labor story with Sawyer. In delivery 1.0, a nurse came out and told me I could no longer come in. In delivery 2.0, a nurse came out and said "come on in". I was elated. I sat down and listened to the surgeons prepare to make the incision. They poked her to make sure she was numb, but she wasn't. She could feel everything. The anesthesiologist asked, "is it sharp, or is it just pressure?", she said it was sharp. I was then asked to leave and they prepped to put her under. My heart shattered. All I wanted at this point was for plan D to stay in effect, there was no plan E! I very angrily walked back to our room trying to fight out negative thoughts with all of my might. I kept conversing with God and pleading that he help me understand and remain patient; to just trust Him. I had such selfish "why us?" type thoughts. Why did we go into labor? Whey was her heart rate dropping? Why can't we do this naturally? In the seconds that it took me to walk to my room, those thoughts were replaced with complete gratitude that we could even be in a hospital about to have a baby by any means at all; that we have amazing technology to notice potential complications, that we have skilled doctors to help move this along, that we conceived at all and were blessed to be in the hospital together as a family on an Easter Sunday. I then got to reflect on Christ and His resurrection. It quickly went from a very negative and worldly experience to a very spiritual and heavenly one; I was completely humbled. I got to our room and told the doula what was going on. Not 5 minutes went by when a nurse came in and told me that I could come back. Whatever they used to numb Sarah had a delayed affect on her, and had begun to work after I left. I made it back to the room and sat at Sarah's head where we just chit chatted, and laughed through the operation. Occasionally I would peak over the curtain and watch the surgery, it was amazing!
When Hunter was pulled out, she almost immediately let out a cry. This was special for Sarah because she didn't get to hear Sawyer's first cry. Hunter's cry was so dainty. Just very controlled, and inquisitive, like a very sincere inquiry as to why they were taking her out. Or maybe it was just a gentle proclamation of "hello, world". How could I possibly know? Whatever it was, it was beautiful, and very different from Sawyer's. I referred to Sawyer's entry as "triumphant", and remember saying under my breath from the hallway "yeah, give 'em hell, Sawyer!" because his voice was so loud and powerful. Hers though, was so peaceful.
The very moment Hunter was in Sarah's arms, nothing from the past couple hours had mattered. She was genuinely happy, and the means by which she was holding her baby girl was completely negligible. If you know Sarah, you know she does not hold onto negative experiences. Sawyer was a c-section, it was not ideal, but now we have a healthy happy thriving little boy, and Sarah isn't affected negatively by how it came to pass. She has never doubted her abilities as a woman, a wife, or a mother. She has never doubted or questioned God. It is what it is, you grow from it, then let it go.
The name Hunter Rochelle
We could not agree on a name for the life of us. So many names were pitched from Sarah that I didn't like, and from me that she didn't like, with only a few where there was some overlap. In those cases though we each felt like we were settling to some small degree. We became obsessive over finding the perfect little girls name. Everything we came up in an effort to try and meet in the middle just wasn't working. We'd be committed to one, and then a few days later one of us wouldn't like it anymore. One day in the shower it occurred to me that we needed to go in the opposite direction. I had an idea for a name, but it would require really preparing Sarah, as it was like nothing we'd previously mentioned. I began to prepare her just to find out only the day before she had been wondering if there were any boy/unisex names that would work. I asked her "What do you think about Hunter? She's going to be your daughter, she's going to be dainty, and be beautiful, and be a princess. Maybe the name doesn't have to perfectly convey that idea." She absolutely loved it! Right away, she knew it was it. The middle name then came very easily. Rochelle is Sarah's middle name, and wasn't one we had really experimented with for the other names we were trying. It was like it was already her name, and it just took us a while to find it. A day or two after officially deciding on the name Hunter I was reminded of one of my favorite verses about missionary work: "Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the Lord, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks" (Jeremiah 16:16). I believe the opportunity and necessity for missionary work is rapidly increasing, and I have a great hope that she (and Sawyer) will do amazing work in spreading the gospel in her lifetime.
Today
Hunter is really strong. She does great with tummy time, and can already lift her head off the ground and turn it from side to side. She kicks her feet and can scoot herself if she can plant them on something firm. She's just about back to birth weight, and maybe is there by today. Our last check-up was 2 days ago, and she was already 5 lbs 5 oz (born at 5.7, left the hospital at 5.2). Sawyer absolutely adores her and frequently asks to "hold sister".
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