Doing What I Should: My Half Marathon

Our neighbors, Brian and Maggie, are leaving the island soon. Several weeks ago Maggie set out to train for a half marathon with the goal of doing it before she left. Each week she would tack on more miles to her runs so that come HM day, she'd be well prepared. Somewhere in the mix she got sick, and although it set her back a bit, it didn't stop her. Her husband, Brian, has also been on a physical journey. He got a calorie counting app, was going to the gym, and was running as well. He ended up gaining, from what I recall, 10-15 lbs in a matter of what seemed like weeks, 3 months tops. Naturally, their endeavors inspired me. I've always gone to the gym and found satisfaction in going, however, I never kept up with it or had it engrained into my lifestyle. I would go, end up seeing results, get kind of lazy and slack off a bit, and stop going for a while. Ultimately, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I made my next workout schedule and began going again. Running, however, is the hardest thing for me. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I have hated it my whole life. I always knew it was important, and I always wanted to like it, but it wasn't until my neighbors showed me the "Nike+Running" app, that the motivation set in and I saw a means by which I could achieve my goal. I still won't call myself a runner, and there are days where I'll still say boldly, "I hate running", but with that hate, I can now also say "I love running".
Brian and Maggie invited me to do their HM with them, and at first I said sure, just being optimistic and gung-ho. I then realized (and was reminded by a few friends) that I was not at all training; although my runs were about every other day, they consisted of 1 and 2 miles, 3 miles max. I was not preparing to endure a grueling 13.11 miles, as Maggie and Brian had been doing. I then declined and said I would meet them for their last 3 or 4 and attempt doing that with them. Things changed when they came over the night before to talk about their plans. We were to pick them up at Waimea and we were mapping out when we'd need to leave to get there just before them. They again invited me. My extremely supportive and optimistic wife said to me, "You should just try it. I bet you can do it", and I thought that was a great point. I didn't need to see it as an all-or-nothing kind of thing. I was allowed to just start with them and see how far I could get. There would be no shame in stopping short of Waimea, especially since I had not been training for it.
5:00 AM the next day came. I woke up and started getting ready. I got changed, I got my Camelbak filled up, and I got a bag of honey ready to slurp down if I reached Turtle Bay, the approximated halfway point. We met in front of the Laie Temple at 5:30, waited about 15 minutes for others who were invited to attend, and when no one else showed, we started our music and our feet.
I knew to expect real struggle around 6 miles. Before this moment, my longest two runs were just over 6 miles, and just over 7 miles. Now, imagine the angst I felt when I realized that this 6 mile mark I was afraid of, was not even a halfway point; I'd have to do it twice, plus some.
To jump ahead, I was right. 6 miles hit and I was struggling. My lungs felt great, and my joints felt great. My calves however, were on fire. I recently changed my run. A couple weeks ago I obtained an injury, and a friend of mine said it sounded like I was heel striking according to the pain I described. He was right. I adjusted accordingly by attempting to land only on the balls of my feet, and it has made ALL the difference. No joint pain when running any longer, but man, my calves get worked! At 8 miles, I decided to stop. I contemplated whether or not I would sit and wait it out, or if I would keep running. I contemplated whether or not that meant I was going to call Sarah to come get me. At one point I tried to immediately start running again, and I was unable. I ultimately decided I would walk; I decided even if I had to walk the remainder of the 5 miles, that I would do so, and finish. I hoped I would be able to start running again, but in that moment I knew I just needed to start with walking. I want to talk about the things that motivated me. There was one particular thought I didn't think I would consider.
I thought about the music I was listening to. I don't need fast paced music to run well (though I do use it and like it). What I need is music with a powerful message. If it's a song that makes me contemplate and wonder, I often internalize it and turn that focus into an energy that allows my legs to keep moving. This was my first surprise with distance running. I see it as a very therapeutic thing; a way to think and become better.
I thought about the people driving by. When I see runners, I feel inspired. Even when I admittedly hated running enough not to do it, I would always think to myself "good for you" as I passed runners. I wanted to look strong for those passing me. I want them to think they can do it too, instead of "wow... that guy looks like hell. I won't be doing that any time soon"
I think about the others running on the same path as myself. I think of us as a team, and I want to be an optimistic and strong member of the team, not the one that brings the team down.
I thought about Sarah and Sawyer. I wanted to prove Sarah right when she said "I bet you can do it". I never want to give her any reason to doubt me, and want more than anything to be her greatest hero. That idea is certainly applied to Sawyer too, so I look forward to what I can achieve when I know he's observing my struggles.
I did the whole just-make-it-to-that-bridge thing, and then setting a new short term goal when I arrived.
Lastly, the one that really surprised me. I thought about Jesus Christ. I strongly believe He suffered for my sins. I believe He felt every bit of pain that I will feel in this life; that we all will feel in this life. I don't claim to know how He did it, but I believe that He did. I thought about the pain I felt while running, and thought how that was nothing compared to what He must have had placed on His shoulder (metaphorically and literally). When I thought about that, it made me want to keep running. In a way, I wanted to endure as He did. I never anticipated this thought would cross my mind, but it was probably the most powerful motivation for me.
I walked for 3/4 of a mile. After that I decided I needed to start running again. All of these thoughts accumulated and I couldn't bare to walk any longer. But once running again, I could hardly bare the crash of each step. Each one caused such an awareness of the weight of my body crashing down upon itself; each one took all of my strength I had to push through, and with each one I kept thinking "I will adjust. I will adjust. If I keep pushing through this, I'll find my rhythm again and not notice how heavy I feel". I had no idea if that's really what would happen. No one had told me what it's like to continue running after having stopped. I hadn't talked to anyone about this run and what to expect. Sure enough, I eventually caught my rhythm and wasn't as aware of each crashing step. This persisted for the next 4+ miles. Somehow, I was able to finish.
I got to Waimea and was greeted by Sarah and Sawyer hanging out on the beach. Sarah tossed me an MRE and I had one of the most deserved meals of my life; an understatement considering the MRE still didn't restore the calories I had burned on the run.
A huge thanks to Brian and Maggie for encouraging and motivating me, my wife for believing in me and knowing how to get me to do something, and Richard for giving me the MRE a few weeks back. Actually, I'm also thankful for those who reminded me I hadn't really been training for this. A few times during the run I thought to myself, "man, I was not ready for this... I should finish it anyway."
As a closer, for those of you looking to try this out, here are the details of each run in March leading up to, and including, the HM:
Distance: Pace
4.51 mi: 9'49"/mi
2.45 mi: 10'00"/mi
1.02 mi: 6'50"/mi
1.13 mi: 7'22"/mi
2.01 mi: 7'32"/mi
1.00 mi: 7'38"/mi
0.55 mi: 7'26"/mi
1.00 mi: 7'31"/mi
2.03 mi: 7'56"/mi
13.1 mi: 11'21/mi (including my walking pace. My running pace was mid-to-high 10'/mi).