Revelations With Roosters

Me: "What do you think when I get like this?"
Sarah: "I just take it as it is"
5:45AM

Rewind 15 minutes. Roosters crowing in the background, I woke at 5:30 with Sawyer grunting and writhing, muffling the requests of Sarah asking if I'd change him. You expecting fathers out there, in the middle of the night, there are only a handful of things you can do for baby considering you don't keep the milk, and you can guarantee that when you're in your deepest of slumbers, you will be asked to do them. This is no complaint, don't misinterpret that. I'm glad to help and take great joy in being involved in every aspect of his life. I'm a dad of just under 3 weeks now, but it doesn't take long to recognize your place and step up to the plate to fulfill that duty with sleepless, drowsy, amazement. This has nothing to do with why I write. Why I write is inspired by what took place after I ridded my boy of his extra baggage: I picked up my phone and went straight to the well known social media of today.

Why did I do this? It's not even 6:00 in the morning and my first immediate action was to peruse the lives of others. The reason I write is to reflect on this as I share my brief self analysis, and hopefully enlighten a few people. My bold proclamation is that, in my personal experience with social networking, it has distracted me so much as to render me incapable of living, to its fullest, my own life for my benefit and that of my family. I repeat, "in my personal experience". It isn't this way for everyone; it doesn't pull everyone in. It's better for me to believe that some people have control of their social networking, and that we aren't all mindless 5:30 AM users (with this said, I also realize their many benefits and can admit how much easier they make many tasks). I really like people a whole lot. For me, they are the most intriguing aspect of life. Nothing is so unreliable, inconsistant, confusing, brave, amusing, successful, and addicting as a human being. I care about them, and am interested in them, and at times I consider them my greatest hobby, if one can have "people" as a hobby. I am proud of their success, and I get bummed when things aren't working out for them. And I absolutely, absolutely, love reading them. However, there is great wisdom in the counsel that a Book of Mormon prophet, Alma, gives to his son, "Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness" (Italics added. Alma 38:12). "Bridle your passions". A bridle is the head/mouth piece used to control and steer a horse. I have many other passions and hobbies that have somewhat gone to the wayside. Other passions that took precedence until the introduction and mass expansion of social networking.

I realized, at 5:40 this morning, that I'm not leading the life I want to live. I have things I want to do, but I'm not doing them. I am so distracted by social media, and the lives others are living, it's as if I've forgotten to not only live my life, but lead it in the course it is to take. It's so crucial that we lead our lives in the directions they're to go. I hope we aren't just "going where it takes us". That's such a passive phrase that needs to be done away with. There are times when it has its effectiveness, but seriously, it should seldom occur. Here are the questions I was asking myself (and Sarah) this morning leading to the question that began this post:

Do I have a hobby?
What did I used to be into? Was it productive? Did I like it? Why did I stop?
When was the last time I read a book?
Have I recently appreciated something beautiful, and simply kept it to myself?
When was the last day I went without the internet?
Why do I feel the need to publicize so much of my personal life?
What was the last inside joke I shared with only Sarah?
When was the last contemplative walk I went on?
Do I do things for myself and my family, or do I do things so that I can broadcast them?
What do I want Sawyer to see me doing with my days?

With the most sincere heart, I hope this reaches someone in need of the ideas I've presented; I hope I was able to say something in a way that's empathetic, and understood. Maybe it's just an old fashioned heart, but I believe there's value in the following: a good book over breakfast, a quiet evening fishing, a silent home void of the hum and chatter of a TV, a good heart to heart with a close friend, fervent laughter with company over hot chocolate, a nice picnic, a hand written letter, an electronics free camping trip, a trip to an art gallery, and a nice nap in a hammock.
Do I do these things? No. I've lost sight of them, but I do want to do them. Again, I think there's value in them.

To those of you doing these things, I metaphorically raise my glass to you. You are my inspiration, and the life you lead is a goal I'd forgotten until now. *Insert perfect, old-timey, song lyric*